The Shape Of Us

Lila Bennett was sixteen, and people kept saying she was “really pretty,” which was annoying because it wasn’t helpful feedback and also didn’t stop her from overthinking literally everything.

She was 5'5 with long honey-brown hair that went way past her waist. It was thick, wavy, and always looked soft no matter what she did to it. It also had this faint vanilla smell, like she’d put effort in when she absolutely insisted she hadn’t. Her eyes were deep blue, with long lashes that made her look like she was either tired or judging you. Depends on the day.

Right now she was standing in front of her full-length mirror, pulling at her outfit a bit even though she already knew it looked fine. She just couldn’t decide if it was “actually fine” or “everyone is secretly laughing at me” fine. Normal teenage logic.

Her room was in the attic of an old house, and it was very clearly trying its hardest to look aesthetic. Slanted white ceilings, wooden beams, a big window that made a little reading nook underneath it. That spot was full of cushions and blankets she kept buying even though she definitely didn’t need more. There were also way too many pillows. Like, physically too many.

Her bed was white with sheer curtains around it, and fairy lights strung above it because she liked them and also because she didn’t really have a choice once she started. The bedding was soft and neutral colors, mostly creams and greens and dusty pinks. It always looked neat, which was a bit suspicious honestly, but she did try.

Two big bookshelves took up one wall. One was mostly romance and fantasy books she reread when she didn’t want to think too hard. There were also candles, Polaroids, little trinkets, and plants tucked between everything. The other shelf had more books, records, and random storage boxes that were “organized” in a very loose sense of the word.

Her guitar sat on a stand nearby. It was acoustic, slightly fancy-looking, with little engraved details. She liked playing it, even if she didn’t always finish the songs she started. A notebook sat next to it full of half lyrics and random ideas she swore she’d come back to later.

Her walk-in closet was behind a white arched door, and it was basically just clothes arranged neatly by category, shoes she rotated between, and a vanity under a small window. It was all very put-together in a way that made her feel like she should be more put-together as a person.

Plants were everywhere too. Hanging ivy, a big leafy plant in the corner, small succulents on shelves. The room smelled like vanilla candles, old books, and coffee she forgot she made earlier and now had gone cold.

At night the room felt calmer. Fairy lights made everything warm and soft, rain sounded extra loud on the roof when it came, and the whole space just felt like somewhere she could actually breathe instead of thinking about school or life or whatever else.

Her outfit was simple but still kind of extra in her usual way: baggy dark jeans with a chain belt, scuffed shoes, a yellow off-the-shoulder top, and a big brown leather jacket she’d thrown on because she liked how it looked more than she liked thinking about it. Gold jewelry she always wore. Necklace with an “L” pendant, bracelets, star earrings.

Her hair was in two French braids, and she had a beret on even though she wasn’t entirely sure why she put it on in the first place. Sunglasses too, just because.

She liked music, especially guitar and singing, reading when she had the focus for it, and decorating her room more than she probably should. She also liked long walks where she didn’t have to talk to anyone.

She was kind, usually. A bit stubborn when it mattered. Good at school most of the time, better with animals and kids than adults, and the type of person who acted chill but definitely wasn’t as chill as she looked.

Favorite color was navy blue. Favorite candy was watermelon sour gummies. And right now she was still standing in front of the mirror, deciding her outfit was probably fine while also fully knowing she was going to think about it again in like five minutes.